Sonic Dimensions  Bean the Dynamite
by GekiTheWriter
Summary: In a dimension set apart from the one we're familiar with, Bean the Dynamite fights his way up to the top to become King of Megatropolis! And his next challange? Rouge the Bat! Semi-Canon to the Archie series  and 10X better written!
1. The Songbird Battle

Sonic Dimensions

Issue #1

Part 1

In the universe there lay the existence of multiple dimensions. All separated by their different universal vibrations. Dimensions, all different from another in one way or another. Some differences small, others big. But all stemming from one dimension, the prime dimension, the true dimension, the one dimension all other dimensions come from. And all with the same hero. But we're not here to talk about **that **boring dimension. And we're not here to talk about **that **boring hero.

"Okay Nicole, it's time for a hunt"

"What type of hunt?"

No, this is an underdog story. And that underdog's name…

"A shiny hunt!"

Is Bean the Dynamite.

"Chaos emerald detected directly in front of us on street level" Chirps up the handheld computer the excitable duck has grasped in a single first.

Bean looks out onto the city filled with tall skyscrapers and flying cars from his spot on top of the building. A look of aspiration for the quest he's set out for himself crosses his face, unable to contain his excitement.

"Awesome, let's go!" He exclaims, happy to finally have a set destination, then jumps off the building, deciding that the quickest path to the ground would be through the air.

"No! Wait! Bean! We're 20 stories up!" Nicole, the handheld chirps up in a more petrified tone, but it's too late. Bean has already leaped off the building shouting out his battle cry.

"Alonzi!"

Our friend Bean has his work cut out for him. But it's nothing he can't handle.

If he can survive this fall that is.

"Yahooooooooooo!"

"Aiieeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Bean yells out in joy as he falls down the length of the building while his personalized pal, who has developed a wide range of emotions in her database, cried out in fear of her fragile casing being shattered on the pavement. Aiming for the awning on the side of the building Bean places his feet together and crotches down when making contact with it, planning on being launched and then make a perfect landing on the ground. Instead the awning rips and he falls through.

"Ack! What? Noooo! These are supposed to be bouncy! Crash Bandicoot you lie!"

Deciding only now to reconsider putting his faith in the physics of a beloved video game series, Bean is thrown off his course thanks to the now ruined awning and starts tumbling down the side of the building, hitting the side several times before landing on the ground. Luckily, hitting the side of the building slowed his decent slightly and he was able to get out of the entire situation with a bruised chin, which felt the full force of the ground, and three miniature Jet the Hawks riding circles around his head on Extreme Gear.

"I'm not broken am I?"

Nicole says more so to herself to assure her that she is indeed still a part of this world. One would wonder why a computer would need to do things like assure one's self of things but in this world questions like this concerning computer A.I are considered silly and nonsensical. Few see the irony of that fact.

"Shinies… give… me… shinies." Clearly not having even remotely recovered from his detour from the stairs of the building he just jumped off of, a girl who was currently enjoying a meal at the popular food franchise "Uncle Chuck's Chili Dog Shack" turned around to notice the poor bird laying on the ground.

"Are you okay?"

Bean had landed right behind her chair and as he opened his eyes he saw that his meet the eyes of the owner of the sweet, gentle voice that had just acknowledged him.

"Hey! I know you! You're Mina Mongoose, that pop star!"

Seeing that she's been recognized, Mina's face naturally becomes softer as she speaks to who she thinks is an avid fan.

"*Sigh* Seems like I can't go anywhere without being noticed by a fan. Do you want my autograph? Or a picture with me?"

She addresses Bean with a slightly satisfied attitude, as if she enjoys the fact that a follower of hers just fell from the sky right in front of her feet. Which only makes Bean's reaction all the more jarring to her.

"What? Ugh! No! You're terrible!"

Mina didn't have a face for critics. And why should she? Most kept to themselves on online message boards she never read, and video review shows she never watched, and her huge entourage of fans, family, and friends, who constantly praised her work, made people who had the courage to approach her about her work up front think twice about it, or risk being ganged up on by the people who found her to be perfect. Mina had never dealt with someone with the courage to go up to her and tell her that her music was bad. Of course, dealing with Bean, it might have just been blind cluelessness to the situation.

"W-What? Excuse me?" Was all the idealized idol could manage to squeeze out.

"Hey Mina, he doesn't know what he's talking about." Said one of faces of her followers, a female cheetah Mobian. But Bean wasn't quite done yet, he might not be the smartest duck in the pond, but if there are two things he knows, its explosives, and music.

"I mean, I like the instrumentals to most of your songs, and I'm not denying that you're a good singer, but as a song writer you ultimately fail." Bean said as he got his legs working again after the shock to his chin and steadily began to pick himself up and brush himself off.

"You seem to have no idea how a song is even structured, choruses are weak most of the time, and you force words to rhythm when it's obvious that they clearly don't want to."

And the duck kept going on, picking apart her style, saying what she could be doing better, what she does wrong, all in quick secession of each other. Mina isn't even given time to defend herself, and even if Bean had slowed down she still wouldn't have been able to give a rebuttal because she knew that when laid out before her he was right. There was stuff she needed to work on, but because she was always being praised for what she did, she never strived to get better. But this fought with the part of her that was set in her ways, the part who loved being surrounded by people who loved the garbage she put out with half the effort of other artist. It confused her, and she began to blame the feelings on our feathered friend, who had just been stating his opinion.

And it didn't make it any better when the computer started to chime in.

"I kind of liked "Follow Me." Nicole piped up, also having recovered from the shock of falling several yards to the ground.

"That was one of her better songs sure," Bean agreed.

"But it kind of sounded like the love song of a clingy, bratty, twelve year old fangirl, which would have been okay if that was the persona Mina shows, but it's not. Plus I heard the song wasn't even written by her."

"Really? That's interesting" Nicole ponders.

"… You didn't know that!" Bean replies in shock.

"No, why?" Nicole inquires.

Bean doesn't answer for a few seconds and then replies "Y-…. You don't see a problem with that?"

A question mark appears over Nicole's on her screen Avatar, telling Bean that he has confused her.

"You know what, forget it. I just came here for shinnies. Who here did you say had one?" Bean asks Nicole, clearly not wanting to press on the subject of how a computer that has constant access to the internet could possibly not know a simple piece of pop culture to avoid getting more off his main quest then he already has. He came here to get shinnies, not break down the work of an overrated pop star.

"You're in front of her."

Bean looks up at Mina, who was currently clenching her fist and looking at the ground to hide her face.

"Mina? Miiiiiina! I'm goanna need your shiny Mina. Hellllllo?"

Seeing that Mina was obviously upset, another one of her fans tries to console her.

"Hey? Mina? Come on. That's just his opinion, right? He's just a hater."

But Mina couldn't let it end with just that. She knew people might not have liked her music but Bean was the first who gave any concrete reasons and she couldn't disagree with his logic. Little did she know that she was the first.

"Opinion? So none of you disagree?"

No one said anything. They just shuffled around uncomfortably.

"Can any of you tell me what you like about my song writing?"

More uncomfortable shuffling, until a male dog Mobian decides to state his opinion.  
>"W-Who cares if it sounds nice and you can dance to it."<p>

Both Bean and Mina stared him down like he had just said cows are where ketchup comes from.

"Yeeeeah, okay, can you just hand over your shiny now so I can be on my way?"

"What are you going on about!" Snaps back Mina, still not entirely sure of what the duck wants.

"You know? Your chaos emerald. Hand it over."

This dimension, dimension #B2734, works differently than most. Namely that multi colored chaos emeralds are extra abundant in this world.

So abundant that it's considered normal for parents to pass down emeralds to their children one at a time until the child has all seven, and is deemed old enough to unlock the power of the emeralds for themselves.

"My emerald! You insult my music and now you want to rob me of my inheritance!" Says a shocked Mina

"Well I wouldn't say I _insulted _it. And it's only robbing if you don't put up a fight. Otherwise we'll be forced to engage in some combat shenanigans and it'll count as a mugging."

As he says this he finds himself surrounded by all of Mina's followers, six in total.

"And something tells you that there will be a fight?" Says one of the fans.

Bean thinks about the scenario for a few seconds before replying.

"There is a slight possibility." Is his reply.

"You must be really stupid to try to rob a famous singer surrounded by fans, in broad daylight."

Says another one of the fans, a female blue mouse.

Bean, seeing that he's in trouble, closes his eyes tight, and starts too hit his fist on his head so he can assess the situation faster.

"Think! Think! Think! What do I do? How do I get out of this? I've been in tighter situations then this one! Come on! How do I always get out of things like this? … Oh yeah! I know!"

A few seconds later an explosion goes off and all of the fans go flying off in opposite directions. The cheetah gets knocked over the counter of the fast food place that they were currently occupying. The mouse crashes into a fruit stand, and the dog into a plant store known for their wide variety of cacti. The yet to be stated fans, a pidgin, a locus, and a rhino, get knocked into the side of a building, a fire hydrant, and a car holding several young attractive Mobian girls.

Bean emerges from the smoke unscathed, and stands across from Mina, who was luckily far away enough to not be blown away from the bomb the Bean had set off.

"Explosions!" Says Bean, smoke swirling around him, almost as if it doesn't want him to leave the cloud. "The ultimate solution to any problem!"

"Thank you duuuuuuuude!" Yells out the Rhino, who had somehow managed to actually land _in_ the car being driven by the attractive girls. Girls who were currently nursing his wounds, hanging off his arm, and giggling at nothing in particular.

"Um… you're welcome!" Says Bean, confused but satisfied that he could help a guy out.

"What just happened?" He asked Mina, seeing if she could fill him in on what had just transpired.

But then he decides that it's unimportant and goes back to his main goal.

"Oh forget it, so are you going to hand over your shinny emerald lady?"

"No! You want my emerald? Then you're going to have to fight me for it."

"Fight?"

Bean laughs at this, not thinking he would be particularly impressed with the fighting skills of a pop star with little talent other than her ability to make pure idiotic dribble sound nice.

"Okay then, let's dance baby!" Bean says, taking one of his bombs out and getting into his fighting stance, both hands on the bomb, to his right side, right foot at an angle behind him on his heel.

After he says this Bean begins to think to himself.

_Let's Dance? That was __**great! **__I didn't even mean to do that! Man, I wish her little entourage was conscious enough to hear that one!_

In the time it took Bean to think that it shouldn't have been enough time for Mina to cover the ground between him and her and close the gap. But Bean didn't know about her speed, and before he could even realize it he was being run over, bomb thrown up into the air.

Bean coughs a few times and doesn't try to get up, deciding to try and see if he can figure out what had just happened, taking his time because he was getting tired of being confused.

"Had enough?" Said Mina, in a bit of a snarky tone.

This snapped Bean out of his thoughts.

"I have not **BEGUN **to have enough!" He yells out in response, pointing his finger up into the sky to help show exactly how much spirit he still has. But right when he finishes saying this his bomb comes flying back down and lands on his chest, then goes off before Bean can react.

After the smoke clears Bean says, with his arm still outstretched but finger more crooked "Now… I have begun… to have…. my fill."

At this point Nicole decides to offer her services.

"Why don't you have me scan her?"

"Huh?"

Nicole sighs "You should have read the manual Bean. Everyone in Megatropolis City has an ID showing information on them, including their skills. People with a computer handheld such as I, can use us to scan other people and pull this ID up. It would be helpful to find out her skills before fighting her."  
>"Huh, you know, it was less painful to have you tell me you can do that now rather than read the manual." Bean replies, propping himself up on his elbows.<p>

"Just point me and press the green button."

"Ah green, my favorite." Says Bean, jumping back to his feet.

"And you better hurry up because my sensors are saying a fast moving object is heading towards you. I'd assume she's coming back."

Bean lets out a quick "huh?" before turning around and seeing Mina come rushing back towards him for another go. Bean quickly dives out of the way and once she passed him he turns and unclips Nicole from here resting place, the feathers on his hip, then proceeds to scan her through Nicole's instructions.

"Okay, I got her. It looks like in addition to her singing ability, she also has enhanced speed."

Bean looks at Nicole for a few seconds with a blank expression before responding.

"Really! I had no idea! Thank you for that useful piece of information that I had not previously known Nicole! So helpful!"

"Wait, there's more. Look."

Nicole flashes Mina's ID on her screen and highlights a line under the list of skills for Bean to read.

"Oh Great." Is Beans reply to what he's shown on Nicole's screen. "Well let's hope she doesn't do **that.**"

Bean looks up and see's Mina is coming back around.  
>"Okay, enough of this!" Cry's out Bean as he whips out two bombs out of thin air and proceeds to throw them towards Mina, calling out their individual names as he does.<p>

"Clarence! Suzette! Deploy!"

Seeing the bombs Mina sidesteps them to the left and right, narrowly missing the small explosions each one sets off. Focusing only on dodging the bombs leaves her open to a close ranged attack from Bean once she got close enough. He used his bombs to get her to run on his right side, and then once she got within arm's reach of Bean, he let out a swift punch aimed right between the pop star's eyes. The force of the punch, in addition to Mina's speed cause the pop star to fall backwards as if she had slipped and she goes tumbling past Bean, who at the moment, has a satisfied look upon his face.

"I may not be an expert on this but I'm pretty sure that is not the correct method of running in a forward motion Mina! It's not that surprising you can't write a song if you can't eve figure out how to run correctly!"

Mina props herself on her outstretched hand and uses the other to grasp her aching face. She turns back towards Bean and growls.

"Ooooh, scary. What's the matter? Super speedy weasel isn't fast enough to take down a lowly music critic?"

Mina's eye's become bloodshot and a look of pure rage appears across her face.

"DON'T CALL ME A WEASEL!"

As she says this she jumps up and begins to run towards Bean for a forth try with an outstretched fist, signaling to Bean that he might have pushed her too far.

This time with a slightly worried look concerning the mad mongoose rushing to him, Bean throws out some more bombs in her direction.

"Bruce! Emalia! Protect you father!"

They land in her path and set off with an ear piercing explosion, smoke filling the air, soot and dust flying into the duck's feathers, everything seems to move at once for the duck. Then it slows down. Everything appears still and just the thick, black smoke appears to be moving. Bean stares into the cloud of tar like smoke, looking for any sign of movement or any unconscious figure on the ground. As he gazes at it he notices that the smoke appeared to be moving in a swirling type of pattern, all going in the same direction. It was as if it was dancing.

"Nicole? What's the wind direction today?" Inquires Bean, still focused on the rhythmic motion of the cloud of smoke

"There hasn't been a breeze all day Bean, why?"

"Because I know my bombs and I know my smoke and I know that smoke doesn't move like that without-"

But before he could finish his thought, all of the smoke is pushed to the ground and is dispersed in four different directions to expose, thanks to the power of her chaos emeralds, a now powered up Mina, Mina the Song-goose!

"… Without it being effected by some outside force… drat." Bean says, finishing his thought.

End of Part One

Part 2

Bean gazes up at the Super Powered Song-Goose realizing that he's in a lot of trouble.

"You carry around all seven of your chaos emeralds with you?"

"Yep." The Song-Goose replies. She isn't Mina anymore, at least not at the moment.

"Well… that sure is inconvenient for me." Was all Bean could come up with in reply. He couldn't really inquire why she would do such a thing. If not for moments exactly like this one then most likely it would be just to gloat to all of her friends that she had gotten hers before most people do, now that he thought about it Mina didn't travel with a bodyguard very often when she went out. Now Bean knows why.

"Well, I guess I'll be running now."

"Oh no you don't! I'm not done with you!"

The Song-Goose begins to fly en route for Bean, knowing that he couldn't possibly outrun her, he decides to try the upfront approach. He throws a bomb directly into her, which is set off when Mina breaks it with her skull. The resulting explosion wouldn't hurt her a lot but it would obscure he vision enough to allow Bean to counter attack. The Song-Goose emerges from the explosion and hits the ground. She starts hovering again but it gives Bean just enough time to come in and lay a few hits in.

"Surprise! Gut shot trio!" Bean yells out, landing two to her stomach and another to the side of her face.

"Ha! Didn't see that last one did you? Gotta make sure to mix it up. People always seem to catch the third one for some reason." Bean yells as he runs away.

It gets the job accomplished in surprising The Song-Goose long enough for Bean to create some distance in between them, leaving another bomb behind him just in case.

"Okay Justin, you better do a good job in being a distraction for daddy, or he won't love you!"

But the smoke the bomb creates disperses quickly as Song-Goose releases a little of her power to create a gust of air coming out of her from all directions, similar to the one created when one is first turning super.

"Aw man, okay Justin. Daddy _defiantly _does not love you anymore. I'm disowning you! … Oh wait, you exploded, never mind."

"I'm tired of this game! You think my music is annoying?" The Song-Goose asks, pointing an outstretched hand in Beans direction signaling that she was talking to him to avoid any smart-alecky remarks from any passersby who might have had the same opinions as Bean. Making it clear that she was only talking to Bean would have made said people look stupid. One decided to take the chance to make a smart comment anyway.

"We _all_ think your music is annoying." Yelled out a male chipmunk currently out for a walk.

"SHUT UP! Well Bean?"

"That was one of the many words I used to describe it. I would have chosen one of the more colorful ones though." Bean replies back, completely forgetting the fact that they were in the middle of a fight, glad to be back on the subject of music. He didn't care if he talked about good music or bad, he loved talking about it.

"Heh" Song-Goose replies, worrying Bean, who hadn't seen a smile cross her face ever since he started speaking. "Well then, maybe you'll enjoy this little number instead?"

The Song Goose then inhales a mass amount of air and Bean knows what she's about to do.

"Wait! No! Stop! Don't do the thing in which you are about to do! I am one hundred percent confident that I will not enjoy this little number at all!"

Bean starts to run towards her, thinking to himself "Maybe I can stop her before she does it! I gotta stop her before she-" but he's too late, Song-Goose lets out an ear piercing scream that shatters the surrounding windows. Bean collapses to his knees, shuts his eyes tight, and grasps his ears in pain, ears ringing as they were filled with the unattractive noise.

"Gah! Hey!"

Bean grits his teeth then gets up to his feet and walks over to where The Song-Goose is screaming. Song-Goose doesn't see him as she normally keeps her eyes closed throughout this.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Bean yells when he finally gets up to her after what feels like an eternity of ear stabbing noise He punches her right in the back of the head making telling her to knock it off pretty pointless.

"Aiee! What the!" The Surprised Song-Goose looks up at Bean with a shocked expression on her face and puts her hand on the spot were Bean had hit her more as a force of habit rather than from any actual pain he might have inflicted.

"Do you have **any** idea how irritating that is? Gezz, it's not surprising that you have the powers of annoying though! How fitting!"

The Song-Goose looks at him, pondering how he could possibly manage to be unaffected by power. Until he hears him insult her power.

"Hey! My powers not- why you!"

She then proceeds to gear up for another ear splitting attack, but Bean was close enough to her to stop it this time.

"Oh no you don't!"

Bean jumps up onto her shoulders, whips out another bomb, and shoves it directly into her gaping mouth.

"This is for all of the little glass figurines that had to die today!" He yelled as he did it.

A confused look crosses The Song-Goose's face as she slowly realizes what Bean had just done. But by that time Bean had jumped off her shoulders and was running to a safe distance while the bomb exploded in her mouth. Bean leans against one of the buildings and holds out his palm towards the air, Mina's purple chaos emerald land in it and he smiles.

"Ha! I got a shinny, **and **I've saved the world from another bad pop star! All bad music artists shall crumble before me!"

As he says this he notices that the building he's leaning on has a poster showcasing a concert staring a new up and coming teen pop star artist, Jason Beaver.

All Bean could do was fall to his knees, grab the feathers on the top of his head and cry out at the injustice of it all.

"Nooooooooo!"

Later Bean is walking down the street after getting cleaned up, complaining about bad music/

"It's not fair! How do they get these guys to keep coming out! Is there some type of Tween pop music singer factory that I need to destroy!"

"It's not that bad, there's a good chance he might be good." Says Nicole, trying to calm her owner down.

"You and me both know that that's a lie Nicole." Bean replies back to her.

"… Yeaaaaah" Is all Nicole could think to reply with. "But look at the bright side, you got your first Chaos Emerald out of all this."

Bean grins at the thought of his very first shinny, which he pulls out of whatever sub-space he keeps things and holds the gem up to the light.

"You're right! And one step closer to becoming king!"

The sun begins to set as Bean walks on, chatting with his computer.

"Hey, you think Mina is okay?"  
>"Aw, she's fine. She was super when I shoved that bomb down her gullet so at the very most she'll wake up with a sore throat. Wouldn't be the first time something's exploded in her face."<p>

*Authors Notes*

*Optional Read*

Okay, first Fan Fiction and I have no idea how things work on this site. This is the start of something I've wanted to do for a very long time because it's introduced in the main comic series, but never fully explored to it's maximum potential. And that is the multiple dimensions where basically all the rules are changed. Up until recently the most use they've gotten out of this device is the reason why the comics aren't more like the games, but I want a bit more than that. So here is the first of a very long series I plan on running centered around traveling from dimension to dimension, going off on adventures with different characters. Sounds simple, formulaic, but who knows how long it will stay that way.

Anyway, for the first chapter I wanted to lay out most of the groundwork for how everything worked. I wanted to introduce the main idea of the series as well as the rules of Bean's dimension without overloading you guys with info from the beginning. Suffice to say, all the rules haven't 'quite' been introduced yet, saved for later. As for the fight with Bean vs. Mina, ya know, it's weird, usually I kind of dislike cross gender fights, but oddly enough... I'm... perfectly fine with this. I had to make this Bean slightly more hinged than his Prime counter-part because while Bean is hilarious, I don't think he could stand on his own, which is why I still gave my slightly more clever Bean a Nicole to interact with.

But I don't want this to get to lengthy so I'll talk more about the story in the next chapter. See you guys then. Don't forget to review, fav, follow, or whatever it is you do on this site.


	2. The Wimp and his Wall

Sonic Dimensions Bean the Dynamite Chapter 2

"G-G-G-Give it back!"  
>Inside the apartment building home to the Chaotix detective agency, the room belonging to Ray and Mighty was having an unexpected guest. And Ray was pleading with the guest to return his blue emerald to him, reaching for it as it was currently in the grasp of the home intruder. Said intruder was holding the child's face back with his foot as he examined the jewel closely.<p>

"Oooooo, this is a nice one. The color really catches the light and- Hey! Will you knock it off?"

Ray was now gnawing on the duck's leg in a desperate attempt to inflict enough harm to him so he would give up the chaos emerald.

"No! My friend gave that to m-m-m-me! Give it back you- you-… you bully!"

Bean shook his leg a few times and finally managed to get the young flying squirrel's nut cracking teeth off of his leg and tossed him a few feet away with one last good kick in the air after several small ones.

"Why don't you trade your friend for another one? Like Moemon cards! I'm sure he'd love a Magnesion. Those are awesome!"

Suddenly Bean heard a set of knuckles cracking behind him and a large round shadow was cast over him.

"Actually, I prefer Hargoken."

Bean slowly turned around to see a large red Armadillo who looked like he spent a lot of time at the gym. And he seemed annoyed. And Bean was starting to deduce why.

"Oh… you're… friends with him."

"Uh-huh" Confirmed the armored armadillo

"And, you're the one who gave him the emerald."

"Yep"

"And… you want to beat me up for taking advantage of your friend's puniness right?"

"Sounds about right to me."

Bean considered his situation and decided that there was only one way out of it.

"… Well bring it on then! You know what I did yesterday! I beat up a girl! Yeah! Afraid now, aren't ya! I'm not afraid of you!"

Mighty replied by taking their coffee table, which in actuality was just an anvil with a table cloth draped over it, and crumpled it into a ball like it was a piece of paper. He tossed the ball up in the air a few times before dropping it on Bean's foot. This was the moment where Bean realized that an anvil was just as heavy when condensed into a ball 3 inches in diameter as it is when it isn't. Removing his foot from underneath the small bolder and jumping up and down in pain, he reassessed his approach to his current situation.

"You know what? I've just decided that I'm incredibly afraid of you right now. So I'll just be going."

But as Bean tried to make his way past the miniature behemoth before him he was stopped by his hand.

"Uh-uh-uh, aren't you forgetting something?"  
>"Well I don't think our relationship has gotten to the 'good-bye kiss' phase yet. But, if you play your cards right, you might get past even that, sailor."<p>

The questionable reply didn't even phase Mighty as he asked he continued his menacing glare towards our plucky protagonist, instead tightening his grip around his arm.

"I mean the emerald."

Bean's eyes darted around the room; he was running out of options. He needed to get out of the room and away from this guy who seemed like he had his mind set on grinding him into a fine duck paste, but he couldn't give up the emerald. Bean needed it. And there was no way he was going to give up a shiny to anyone. He noticed that Mighty seemed unphased by his unusual manner unlike his last adversary, so he would have to try something else to get by.

"Okay fine, just this once, because you're special, I'll upgrade you to 'good bye kisses.' But don't tell anyone, okay?"

Then Bean puckers his bill and plants them right on the armadillo's lips, making a "MMMMMWA!" sound as he did so. This act surprised Mighty as he loosened his grip on Bean. Bean took this opportunity to jump up and run off, stepping on Mighty's face multiple times as he got his running start. Bean headed towards the door but Ray had acted quickly and was now blocking the door with his arms stretched wide across it.

"Oh n-n-no you don't! You're not going anywhere with the emerald Mighty gave m-m-"

"Move it nut-muncher!"

Before he could finish his poorly put together sentence, Ray found himself being blasted backwards from an explosion set off by an explosive Bean tossed his way. He got thrown out into the hallway of the building and into the next room, crashing through the door on the way in. He shook his head and found himself in the bathroom belonging to Saffron, who was currently in the tub.

"Oh- um, hi Saf- I mean sorry I- I mean, I didn't mean to- I mean, I see you're busy so-"

But in the middle of Ray's confusion, Saffron interrupted him.

"Well Hi there cutie. Whatcha doing bursting in here while a lady is bathing herself? Curious?"

"…"

The entire space between the two rooms was filled with smoke, but was disrupted as Bean dashed out of it, running for his life towards the elevator. Once he met it he pressed the button repeatedly.

"Come ooon, come ooooon." He pleaded desperately, knowing that it doesn't take long for one to recover from a Bean kiss. And he was right as he saw what looked to be a red bolder come rolling out of the smoke at high speed, right towards his direction.

"Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap" Bean said, stumbling over each 'crap' as he pressed the elevator button even faster. Finally the box had reached his floor and opened up, only to reveal a large crocodile inside, one who was confused as to what exactly was going on in the hall way before him. Why was it filled with smoke? Who was the scared looking duck in front of him? Why was Ray coming out of Charmy's girlfriend's room with a flustered look on his face? And why was Mighty rolling towards him at an alarming rate?

But Bean didn't have time to sit down for questioning and instead let out a yelp at the sight of the large reptile and ran to his left. Mighty continued going forward and slammed into Vector, knocking the wind out of him and utterly decimating the elevator box car. Bean would have to take the stairs. He reached the door leading to them and quickly began to climb down them two at a time, arms crooked in an upside-down 'L' shape as he did to keep his balance. He then began to climb up the steps the same way, followed by Espio, who watched the ducks fearful expression at the mere sight of him and decide to follow him up the stairs.

Bean climbed up the stairs with the majority of the Chaotix hot on his trail.

"I need to get outside, this place is too restricting, too many places for me to get trapped, feels so claustrophobic, and my bombs might bring the whole place down, with me in it! I mean, I usually throw these things with no regard for my surroundings but I think I learned my lesson after that time at the glass house."

Bean had managed to get up to the door to the roof and swung it open, but much to his chagrin he was met with the backs of Charmy and Shade.

"Shade, I… I think Saffron might be cheating on me."

Shade, not really knowing anything about relationships at all, let alone what to do when they go wrong or what advice to give, replied to him with a sympathetic "aw" and a pat on the back. Bean quickly shut the door. He wasn't afraid of Charmy, but Shade was someone he did NOT want to mess with. But knowing that the rest of the team was following him up the stairs he quickly jumped onto the railing and slid down, passing his pursuers by as they quickly assess what he had just did, and started to chase him back down again. He thought he might finally be out of the woods. If he could just make it all the way down the stairs he would be home free, able to lose his potential captures in the crowds of people on the street. But a quick look behind him told our doomed duck that his plan wasn't about to work out that way as the Chaotix had taken to different tactics to get down the stairs faster. Mighty had rolled up into a ball again and started bouncing down the stairs at an alarming rate, making deep imprints in the walls and stairs where he landed, Vector had employed a somewhat similar tactic, grabbing his tail and forming a tire shape to have the same effect as Mighty, but with a little more control and less destruction. Ray used his patagium to glide down the stairs instead of walk, and sprung off the adjacent wall to give him an extra boost while soaring. And Espio did a variety of flips down the stairs, clearing a whole flight while only landing on one of the steps near the middle. Bean was taking them two at a time with his arms bent to help him keep balance. He had fifteen more flights to run down before meeting the first floor and he was already beginning to breathe heavily from having to run up and down several flights. He wasn't going to elude them for very long.

Deciding to cut his losses he went off the beaten path into the fourteenth floor and ran down the hallway.

"Nicole! Please tell me you've hacked into the building main-stain already right?"

"That's 'mainframe' Bean." Corrected the handheld, not being able to stand when people said things she knew were wrong.

"Main-whatever! I just need you to tell me if any of these doors are open! Quick!"

"Okay, okay, I'm scanning the electrical locks on this floor and there should be an empty room ahead. Forth door to your right."

"My right or your right?"

"Wait. What? Bean, we're facing the same-"

"Oh, never mind, I'll figure it out."

Bean quickly jumped into the room and shut and locked the door, but he was sure he heard the entrance to the stairs open behind him, meaning that one of them might have seen him duck into the room. The entire place was empty and the adjacent wall was instead a large window that ran across the entire length of the room, giving someone a beautiful view of the city before them.

"I need a way out and I need a way out quick! Any ideas Nicky?"

"Well, the only exit I can find is the large window across from you… and don't call me Nicky."

Bean quickly ran towards the window and looked out.

"Where's the fire escape?"

"There isn't one." Nicky answered back.

"… WELL THAT'S JUST INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS!"

"The view is nice."

"Yes. I'm sure when someone is trapped in this room, burning alive, flesh searing off of their faces, they'll be looking on the bright side and say 'Well at least I have this spectacular view" Replied a very cross Bean.

At that moment the door to the room burst open and the entire Chaotix team started to fall in. Even Shade, and Charmy had been called, most likely by radio, and were entering the room alongside everyone else who had participated in the chase. Saffron entered the room last wrapped in a towel. Mighty stepped forward.

"End of the road buddy, hand over the emerald and we'll 'think' about not breaking **all** of your bones."

Bean took a bomb out and got into his fighting stance.

"Stand back! I've got a bomb and I've been told that I can use these to threaten people instead of throwing them blindly! And I'll tell you guys, I have a heck of a more enjoyable time throwing them blindly."

This time Vector stepped in, he was the negotiator of the team and was most suited to try and talk Bean down.

"Whoa buddy, calm down. We won't hurt you; we just want our friends stuff back. Just get rid of the bomb so we can talk about this."

Bean's eyes darted around the room. He checked all of the looks of everyone in the room. Vector seemed chill but Mighty and Ray seemed like they had no intentions of letting him go unscathed. Charmy seemed distracted, looking towards Saffron who in turn, was looking in Ray's direction. Shade was just looking scary as ever and Espio… Espio!

"Crap!" Bean exclaimed as he realized that the one member who could turn invisible was missing, despite being there just a few seconds earlier. But he was too late; Bean felt a blow to his head that knocked him to the ground and his bomb was scoped up by Vector, who proceeded to throw it out the window, breaking the glass in the process. At this time Bean started to get back up, but not before Mighty could grab him from behind and lock him in a bear hug.

"We got you now you little punk!"

Bean struggled a little before realizing that his bomb had just been thrown out the window.

"Perfect. I've wanted to try this move out for a while now." Bean said out loud, causing confused looks to surface on everyone else's face. He then closed his eye and imagined the bomb tumbling through the sky, falling, being where the bomb was. He concentrated, grunting as he thought hard about where the round explosive was, until finally, he was there, and Mighty was left with said bomb grasped tightly around his hands. Bean on the other hand, is outside the window, falling where the bomb had once fallen.

"Hope you enjoy a final good-bye kiss darling!"

With a smug look to everyone inside the room he proceeded to freefall down the length of the building, an explosion being set off in the room he was just previously in. All of the Chaotix would have been caught in the blast.

"I did it! I beat the Cha-freaking-otix!"

"Um… Bean."

"And I got my second emerald out of the whole deal as well!"

"Bean"

"I gotta tell you, it was touch-and-go there for a while, I didn't think I was gonna make it out of there with all my teeth. But I did it! And I feel good! This was a great win!"

"Bean!"

"What is it Nicky!"

"We're falling out of the sky at an alarming rate."

"Ha! Jokes on gravity! I'm so happy, I feel like I can fly!" As Bean stated this he put his hands behind his head and positioned himself as if he was lounging on a couch, expecting to drift safely to the ground on a wind current or something of that nature. He did not. Instead he hit the ground, landing on his back, and found himself to be in incredible amounts of pain from the impact.

"Ah, oo, Okay, ouch, that's painful, dang it. Okay. I'm okay, don't worry everybody. I just need to… rest this off."

Bean managed to pick himself off of the ground and stumble off away from the Chaotix Detective agency. It's never a good idea to hang around a place you raided, or so Bean told himself as he shuffled away. As he did, two large eyes watched him do so from the 15th story of the building, but he hadn't noticed.

"So that's two out of seven emeralds now, huh Bean? Just five more and you'll have enough to challenge the king."

"Yep, more or less anyway. I have to get past the council's challenges before then anyway. Seven challenges for me to face, made by the seven people who vote on what laws need to be made in the city, working as a democracy, all members being voted upon by the public every five years. They decide how the city works. The king however, acts as the symbol of strength for the entire city. They are the ones who past all of the council's challenges of skill, intelligence, and integrity, and prove themselves to be the strongest in the city by defeating anyone else who wants to take the throne for themselves. This used to result in us having multiple kings, constantly switching up as they each were taken out by someone stronger."

"But that hasn't happened in a while, has it?"

Bean shook his head. "Nope, we haven't had a new king for the past six years. Heck, we haven't even had any new princes or princesses in about the same amount of time. Word has it that all four of them entered together as friends and now they just rule as a unit. Of course they had to fight each other to decide who was the strongest at one point, who would act as king, and who would act as the princess. What info can you pull up on our leaders anyway?

"Like, strengths and weaknesses?"

"Um, I was thinking more like names and rank."

"Sigh, come on Bean, if you're seriously thinking of overthrowing our current king then you're going have to get into politics more." Nicole's avatar disappears and is replaced with a hologram of a yellow fox with two tails. The figure rotates on top of the screen.

"Okay, here's the basic info on everyone. Starting from the bottom is Prince Miles 'Tails' Prower, if you beat him-"

"**When** I beat him."

"Yes, **when** you beat him, you'll be ranked a number four prince. Miles is a mechanical genius and will probably employ a lot of gadgets and gizmos of his own design to fight. A reason why he lost against everyone else is probably because his friends know his arsenal very well and as a result, knew all of their weaknesses. The same can't be said for others who stand up against him and as a result, not many even get past him to fight for the next rank held by Princess Amy Rose or Rosy Rascal as people like to call her behind her back."

Tails' avatar was then replaced with that of a young pink hedgehog girl, wearing green cargo pants and a white T-shirt. _(Because screw her Sega outfit, that dress is stupid)_

"Heh heh heh, I started that nickname ya know? I can't believe it caught on so well. I mean, it's not even **that** insulting a name!"

"Yes, well, Rosy only has one weapon of choice, her Piko-Piko hammer. The hammer, despite looking like an inflatable toy, grants the user an enormous amount of strength."

"So all of her strength comes from the hammer?"

"Well, it's actually unknown how much of her strength is her own and how much is from her hammer, but there have been recorded events of her doing impressive feats of strength for someone her age or build-"

"Or sex."

"… Or sex, without the hammer, backhanding the second ranked prince so hard it made him fly several feet into a tree for example, so it's recommended that you don't underestimate how much strength she actually posses."

"Right… wait… she did what?"

"And then we have the second ranked Prince, Knuckles the Echidna."

"K-Nuckles!"

"… Indeed. Knuckles uses-"

"K-Nuckles! There's a 'K' in there!"

"… Riiiight, K-Nuckles' uses spiked gloves in combat, which can be recorded as being incredibly painful, or so his previous opponents say."

"Well those don't look too sharp."

"Don't be fooled Bean, they're sharp enough to allow him to latch onto walls and scale up and down with them. So you can only guess what they can do to your face."

"Not my beautiful face! That's how I make my money!" As Bean said this he covers his face with his hands, as if expecting the fist to come out of the hologram Nicole is showing him.

"And then there's our king himself."

"Oh, I know all about this guy. Sonic the Hedgehog, active as king for six years and hasn't lost so much as a game of checkers in all that time."

"Must be because he doesn't play with the child prodigy who was building bi-planes at age eight."

Bean had finally dragged his injured body to the city park and plopped down next to a tree, lying up against it, he felt completely drained from the adventure he just had and needed rest.

"He's who I'm going have to overcome. I have to beat Sonic the Hedgehog."

"You should get some sleep Bean. We're still a ways to go before you can challenge him."

As he drifted off into sleep Bean could only think of one thing.

"Don't worry guys… I'll… become king and… get you out of jail. Promise."

End of chapter 2

_*Authors Notes* (Optional Read)_

_ Whew. That was actually a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. I wanted to use this part to get the information as to how this city works out of the way, which is why it opens up with Bean already obtaining the emerald. The chase scene afterward I didn't expect to be that long but overall I'm quite proud of it. My goal is to make every chapter as filled with action, excitement, and humor just as much as this one, if not more. Hope you guys enjoyed. I'll see you guys next time._


	3. We Going Clubbing Tonight!

Sonic Dimensions Bean the Dynamite Chapter 3

"Okay guys, this the a big one."

An almost childlike excitement was being emitted from the feisty fox's facial expression as she laid out the perfect heist for her two colleges sitting across from her. One silent, menacing polar bear and one broken, insane duck.

"If we do this right then we're going to walk away as rich as kings!"

The room they were in was dark, save for one light bulb hanging low from the ceiling. The two loyal lackeys sat as attentive as they could, which was in fact, less attentive then the average person, at least for the duck, as their leader explained the actions need in order to pull off the heist of the century. They were in over their heads really. The job was much too large for just three people to undertake alone. But Fiona had been feeling lucky after working with these two for so long. And after so many jobs that all seem to get shot to hell at some point yet always ending with the trio not only getting out alive and scot-free, but also carrying away a nice chunk of loot for their troubles, she had begun to get cocky. She would never knowingly factor in the luck, mind you, but the feeling of being untouchable had be something that gave her the unwavering courage to approach such a daunting task. Hoping that somehow all the luck they seemed to have been blessed with would come into play on this theft.

"Go! Go! Go! Andele! Andele! Their coming at us from all sides!"

It did not.

"Bean! Hurry up with that door! Bark- no! Bark!"

Bean was laying several charges around the door to a large safe while Fiona and Bark was holding off several guards. Fiona wielding a pistol matching the ones the guards were using, suggesting that she picked it up during the fire fight, and Bark using his own double barreled shotgun to keep the foes at bay. Bark had seen that the large pillar Fiona was hiding behind was starting to deteriorate do to gun fire, as was his, and he dashed out towards her.

"Stay back you idiot! You're getting shot!"

She wasn't making an overstatement in the excitement of everything being shot to hell either, the room was being filled with laser fire and Bark was getting riddle with shots as he put himself out in the open to protect the team strategist. Once he got to her he provided extra cover for her where the pillar was beginning to fail.

"Bark! Get into cover right now! Forget about me; focus on staying up long enough to clear these guys out!"

One blast caught the bear in the face, which he treated as if it were a punch to the jaw. Grasping his shot gun in one hand, and covering Fiona with the other, Bark blasted several shots off into the crowd of guards and policemen, taking out several of them in the process. At the same time a large explosion was set off and Bean was standing before the door, feeling tall.

"Safe? I see no safe! All I see is danger! And his name is duck! Danger Duck! Which is what safes call me! And then they run away! Which is why… I don't… see them…. Hrm. Hey guys! I got the safe open!... of a sort. I mean, it's assessable now."

"Bark! Wake Up! Don't go out on my now you jerk!"

The desperate yell from behind him cause Bean to snap his attention to the fire fight behind him and see his best buddy slumped over on the ground, Fiona trying to move him out of the line of fire while trying to keep them both from getting shot anymore than they already had. Fiona herself had taken many shots to the arms and legs. Lucky places the keepers of piece were able to get off on her.

"Bean! Cover us! Gah-"

As soon as she finished her sentence Fiona was subject to a punishing shot into her chest, opposite her heart. The force of it throws her to the ground, where she groans in pain.

"Hey! You all aren't playing nice!"

The gun fire stopped as the guards took the time to exchange confused glances towards one another, which was just enough time for Bean to toss a few bombs their way.

But one of the guards noticed the projectile land next to him and immediately threw it back, lobbing it right where Bark and Fiona were.

"No! Return! Come back!"

Bean caught up to his bomb before it set off and dived for it, he was able to slide several feet away and landed near a window. He holds the bomb in his hands, and time slows down as he contemplates the series of events that were about to unfold.

"So, negligent discharge, we meet again?"

Then in a split second, the bomb goes off, and Bean is thrown out of the window with a powerful force.

"BEAN!"

Fiona rushes to the window and watches as her demo duck plummets to his doom. She watches him fall into the trees below, not seeing him make an impact, but feeling it nonetheless. She could summarize the exact moment he must have hit the ground and the second shook her entire being. It wasn't until one of the guards grasped her arm that she snapped back into the now and realized what was going on. None of them said anything. Instead they let her look around for herself and see what hope was left for her. Her muscle, laying unconscious at her feet, and her demolitions expert, dead maybe? She hung her head low and submits to their will, defeated.

Bean was lying still on the grass outside the bank they had just attempted to rob. As he awoke and begun to move he started to realize that he was in an unfathomable amount of pain. Face to the ground he looked up and was able to make out the image of Fiona in handcuffs, being thrown into a police car. Upon closer inspection he saw tears streaming from her sullen face.

"F-f-Fiona" was all he could make out before blacking out again.

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

This noise was what awoke our feathered friend as he rested off his battle with the Chaotix that took place earlier in the day.

"Ack! No! The fighters! They're coming down on us! Charlie! No! You were just two days away from retirement! Don't worry! I'll take care of Susan for you! I won't tell you what that means because you're dying and all."

Suddenly the beeping stopped and the computerized feminine voice of Nicole chirped up.

"Um… Good evening Bean"

"Huh? What?" Bean looked around confused for a few seconds, not used to waking up and being outside, as well as it being dark. It took his mind a few seconds to process where he was and what had happened prior to him falling asleep.

"Oh, hey Nicole? What are you waking me up at night for?"

"Well, for two reasons. One, I wanted to make sure you were still alive."

"Da'w, I didn't know you cared so much Nikki."

"… Indeed, and I also wanted to alert you that one of the chaos emeralds you have yet to gain has appeared in the vicinity."

Bean reached into his hammer space and pulled out the two that he already had.

"One purple shiny, and one blue shiny. I still got a bit of work ahead of me eh?"

"Well, you could take more the one from each person."

"Oh, where's the fun in that? Come on Nikki, if I'm going to be king then I'm gonna have to fight as many people as I can so I can get stronger." As he said this Bean jumped to his feet, ready to rumble once more.

"And also so you can learn how to run away like you did a few hours ago?"

"… Where'd you say that next emerald was?"

"In the brightly colored place across the street from the park we're in now. Just look out the front entrance."

Bean turned his head toward the direction Nicole instructed and walked out of the park in front of the place she had mentioned.

"Well, well, well, looks like we're going clubbing Nicole."

Bean approached the front door which was being guarded by a big burly bear in a black t-shirt with the words 'SECRETARY' written across it, he is also wearing sunglasses. He doesn't look up from his clip board when Bean approaches him.

"Name?"

Bean just looks at him with a questioning look.

"Hey, shouldn't that say 'SECURITY'?"

The bear looks at Bean this time but just restates his original question.

"Name?"

"Why are you wearing sunglasses when there's a complete absence of sunlight?

"Name?"

"… Oh! No, you won't find me on that thing. But I know the owner. She told me that whenever I wanted in I should just give this to her secretary."

Bean puts out his hand and placed it forward, in a fist to conceal what was inside. The bear places him palm outward to receive the gift our dishonest duck had for him. Bean handed the object to him and the secretary held it up so he could see it. What was handed to him seemed to be a device that slowly flickered a red light incased in some type of goo. Suddenly the red light started flickering faster and faster. Realizing what it was the bear tried to toss the object away, but the goo had incased his entire hand and wouldn't depart with the bomb inside no matter how much the grizzly tossed his arm around. Finally the bear just came to terms with what was about to happen and uttered a single word before it was over.

"Great."

Bean walked around the unconscious bear, whistling a cheery tune as he moved the body aside with his foot and entered the door.

"Alight Bat. Time for round two."

Bean entered into Club Rouge and was greeted to the sound to loud, thumping music and a large crowd of people dancing and/or rubbing against one another. The dance floor was your standard multi-colored tile neon floor, and a DJ stood atop a stage as he played several tracks for people to dance to.

"Bean?" Nicole buzzed up, trying to get her feathered companions attention among all of the loud music and screaming people trying to talk to their friends over the loud music. But Bean was already loss; he was entranced by the music and was pulling random people, male or female, into his circle to dance with him. "BEAN!"

"Hrm? Oh, hey Nikki! Wanna dance with me too?"

"No I- Hey! Wait!"

But Bean had already begun to dance with her, holding the handheld in both hands and spinning it around, all in rhythm to the music. Nicole just sighed and decided that since she had his attention, she might as well ask him what she was about to ask him anyway.

"So Bean, you told that guard out there-"

"You mean that secretary?"

"… Right, that secretary out there, that you knew the owner of this place. Is that true?"

"Oh yeah, we ran into each other when me and the gang were still out and about robbing people."

"How'd you meet her?"  
>"We tried to rob her. Well, tried and succeeded… of a sort."<p>

"I don't understand."

"Well, see, she had this big disco ball that she had hung above her dance floor, right? But it wasn't just any old disco ball. It was made of _diamonds._ So naturally Fiona put it on her list of things to steal. It only helped that her and Rouge kind of had some sort of rivalry going on even before she was working with me and Bark. So Fiona just wanted to steal it to rub it into Rouge's face. Of course you know the reason I wanted it."

"Because it was shiny?"

"THE ULTIMATE SHINY!"

"…"

"Anyway, during the job we kind of got caught off guard by Rouge when she used her emeralds to go super and beat us up… pretty bad."

"So how'd you guys escape?"  
>"Well, she has this attack in her super form that lets her spit out this really sticky stuff that traps people, and she had Fiona, Bark, and I all pinned down, just covered in it. We couldn't move at all. Then she started spinning really fast in the air like a tornado and was about to cream us all. Being the only one who could have done something against it, I decided to try and throw a bomb at her and knock her right out of the sky! Buuut, the goop had covered my hand and stuck the bomb to me. So we all got hit by the explosion and the three of us got thrown outside of the club."<p>

"And that was the only way you guys could have gotten away?"  
>"Well, Fiona <strong>might<strong> have said something to Bark about trying to catch Rouge's foot and then screaming at me when she saw my bomb, but I don't remember everything."

"Interesting"

"Besides, it wasn't all bad." Bean says as he thinks back to that day, when they were all recovering from the explosion and being thrown to the sidewalk outside.

"Bean" Fiona says, nursing the lump on her head. "You're and idiot-"

Suddenly the disco ball crashes outside right in front of them and they all fall silent.  
>"…. GO! GO! GO! BARK! PICK THAT THING UP! COME ON! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"<p>

Nicole interrupts the flashback with her confirmation of the obvious "So you all got the disco ball anyway?"

"Yep! It's at the hideout right now. Fiona locked it up when she saw I was becoming obsessed with it. Just watching it. Watching it. Watching. Watching. And waiting. Waiting for her to love me. WHY WOULDN'T SHE LOVE ME!

"Bean!"

"Yes, Nikki?"  
>Nicole paused for a few seconds, not having the programs that would have allowed her to process what had just happened, so deciding to ignore it instead.<p>

"Shouldn't you be focused on getting the next emerald?"

"Ah, that's what we're here for, isn't it?" Bean responded as he stopped in front of a door located on the top of a staircase at the side of the large room. The door leads to a room that overlooked the entire first floor of the club. This is where the owner was sure to be. The door was locked so Bean did the next best thing and knocked.

"Hello, Rougy? Your friendly neighborhood duck is here."

A deep, yet obviously feminism voice came from the other end, a slight annoyance being emitted from it.

"Not right now. I'm busy."

Bean looked at the door with raised eyebrows and knocked again, crossing his arms and tapping his foot as he waited for a reply.

"I said I'm busy. Go away."

Bean decided to press his luck and try one more time to draw her out with an even harder knock. This time, a male voice replied in a much more stern tone before Bean could even finish knocking.

"The lady said she's busy; now don't make me come out there."

Bean walked back down the stairs this time mumbling under his breath.

"The nerve! Some club owner she is! How this place was able to get so famous with service like THAT from the proprietor is beyond me."

Bean walked over to the bar and climbed up on a stool. He was greeted by the upbeat barkeep.

"_Hey man, what can I get ya?" _

"I would like your largest root beer float made of your finest roots, beers, and floats. And after the treatment I just got from the owner of this establishment, it better be amazing!"

The bartender was a Mongoose wearing a dark blue button down shirt and jeans. The shirt's buttons were undone to show off the t-shirt underneath, which was red and had a large type writer plastered on it.

"_Oh, Rouge gave you the cold shoulder huh? Well she isn't normally like that, but her boyfriend doesn't get much time off from work and it just so happens that tonight is a night he has off. But hey, I know a way you can get her out of there."_

The bartender handed Bean his float and Bean flipped him a ring as fee.

"Oh really? How?"

Catching the coin and stuffing it onto his pocket, the manner-bound Mongoose gave Bean the info he was searching for.

"_Dance."_

"Dance?"

"_Yep, if you're good enough, you'll draw Rouge out. She'll always come out to congratulate a great dancer."_

"Eh, I'm not sure if dancing will draw out those two lovebirds."

"_Why? Did you hear anything? See anything? Damnit! I said I wanted to keep this PG!"_

"What?"

"… _Look, if you dance really well, she'll come out. Simple."_

Bean lets out a sigh and thinks about his options for a moment before replying, downing the rest of his float all the while.

"Can't I just throw a bomb into the crowd?"

"… _No. If you do that then she'll become unbeatable."_

"How'd you know I came here to fight her?"

The two star at each other for several seconds, one waiting patiently for the other to reply, music thumping in the background. The silence is broken, not by a reply, but by a large cry of _"SHAZAM!" _from the Mongoose as he throws a smoke pellet to the ground. Bean coughs as he waves his hand to try his best to disperse the smoke away from him. Once he can finally see again he looks to where the bartender was only to see that he was… still there.

"…"

"…"

He then waves both his hands away as if to shoo Bean away from his bar.

"Okaaaay." Was all our dazed duck could respond with as he slowly got off the stool and moved on towards the dance floor.

"Do you really think you can dance well enough to get Rouge to come out? The place looks really crowded; you're going to have to be the best." The neurotic Nicole chirped up once again, offering wonderful moral support to our music inclined mallard.

"Oh Nicole. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. I'll have you know that the art of dance is a skill that must be in any thief's/assassins'/bounty hunters' vast array of skills."

The dancing duck strings his fingers through each other and cracks them, surveying the area.

"Just leave this to the Beanster."

Bean then proceeds to close his eyes so he could be alone with the music before he starts. Moving his head to the beat, letting it course through his body and show him where to move. And he moves. He rocks his arms back and forth, legs as well, matching the same beat. He begins to get into it, becoming one with the music and letting it guide his body to where it was needed. Soon his stellar moves and dancing spirit was being noticed by the other clubbers and a space was being formed to give him more room to do even larger motions, the crowd yelling "GO! GO! GO! GO!" all the while. A gleam appeared in Bean's eye as he saw his chance to impress. With a back flip that was given a huge boost in style points by several green feathers falling from the sky as Bean vaulted into the air, he landed in a split and came back up into a standing position by sliding his heels together until they met, wrist bent backward to show how much he didn't give a crap. The song ended at this moment and the entire club was giving Bean a round of applause. But one clap stood out among the rest. It came from the second floor and slowly descended to the first as the culprit of the clap made her way down the steps.

"Well what have we here? I didn't know little FiFi's had such a great dancer working under her."

Rouge came down the steps wearing black bell bottoms with a white floral pattern on them and a sports bra to match.

"Rougy!" Relied Bean excitedly, almost as if he was meeting an old friend that he hadn't seen in a long time. "I see you've been working on you slow, sarcastic clap since the last time we met. That's great! So, how's it hanging?" Rouge starred at him amused as Bean chuckled loudly.

"Get it? Cause you're a bat? And that's how you sleep?"

"I got it."

"Greeeat, hey! I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor-fav."

"A favor-fav?"

"Yeah, just a little one. See, I know you have a more vast collection of chaos emeralds in your possession than most people. And I'm actually a few short of a complete collection. And as you know you need a full set of seven in order to challenge the king-"

Now it was Rouge's turn to chuckle. Not a large, purposefully obnoxious one you usually see in the movies or on TV when the main character announces his or her large, seemingly unattainable dreams to a large crowd of realist. More of a realistic one, as if she had actually been caught off guard by what Bean had just said.

"You? Want to be King?"

"Yeeeeap, yep, yep, yep."

"And, this wouldn't have anything to do with FiFi's arrest the other week, would it? What? You want to use your kingly powers to get her and your bear friend out of jail."

Bean put his hands behind his back and gently shut his eyes as he talked, to exhibit a mightier than thou type attitude. "I have many plans for my kingly powers. That may indeed be on the list. But my top priority is to nuke Downunda. Because that place just sucks. No one likes that place."

"And what makes you think that I'd want to help you **attempt** to become king? If it means breaking out Fiona?"

Bean's eyes popped open as he saw that he hit a snag in the road.

"Well, I thought since you and Fy are such good friends and all."

"We're not friends. She hates me."

"Oooo, nooo, she likes you. It's just a heated rivalry."

"No, I'm pretty sure she hates me."

"Oooo, what gave you that impression."

"When she yelled out "I hate you!" that one time in Mazuri."

"Well she says that… a lot. I mean, if she really meant it every time she said it, then she hates me to then! Hahaha."

"She probably really does."

Muttering to his walkman with a will he whispers "Shut. Up. Nicole." And then focus his attention back to Rouge.

Rouge took a minute to mull things over in her head as Bean stood there, anticipating her response.

"Okay, I'll tell you what. Since I like you, I'll give you a deal."

"Oh goody! What do I have to do? Bake you a cake? Pose in some nude photo shoots? Dress in drag and do the hula?"

"No" Then Rouge stops and thinks to herself "Dang, that last one might have actually been fun."

Then she snaps her attention back to Bean. "No, I want my disco ball back, bring it here, and I'll give you an emerald."

"Bu-But- the hideout is all the way across town! I'll have to walk-"

"Sorry, that's the deal."

"Bean, I'm quite certain she's lying."

"Oh... Fine!"

"I have a lie detector program. She has no intention on handing over one of her emeralds."

"Shush Nikki, adults are talking." Turning his attention back towards Rouge "I'll get your disco ball for you!"

Three hours later Bean comes bursting through the door of the Night Club, rolling the disco ball in front of him. It was close to dawn and the club was now empty. Rouge was at the backdoor, saying goodbye to her boyfriend when she heard Bean come in.

"Oh? Back so soon?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's your shiny. I know how you like your balls nice and clean so I tried not to scuff it up to much."

Rouge gave Bean a questionable look as she wondered if he had implied what she thought he implied. But then she decided that he wasn't clever enough for innuendo and decided to brush it off.

"You know Bean; I'm surprised you're giving up an extravagant piece of treasure such as this so easily."

"Yeah, well, she was a conceited little thing anyway."

Bean then proceeded to point his finger towards the ball and shout at it.

"You hear me? The Bean-man doesn't need someone as stuck up as you in his life!"

Nicole stepped in to calm down her crazed companion.

"Bean, I thought we agreed on the walk over her that you wouldn't talk to… 'her' anymore."

"Is he normally like this?" Inquired Rouge questionably.

"It depends on what your definition of 'this' is." Nicole replied.

Bean then stood up, deciding that the ball had received enough of a tongue lashing.

"Alight then, let's get the over with. Hand over the emerald so I can leave."

"Oh right, the emerald. Um, about that. No."

Bean raised his eyebrows and gave Rouge a questionable look.

"No? What do you mean no? I didn't ask a question."

"I mean you're not getting one of my emeralds. I really didn't expect you to be stupid enough to actually bring it back. Oh who am I kidding? We both knew you're stupid enough."

"Dangit Nicole, she's right! Why didn't you tell me she was lying! I installed that lie detector program on you for a reason! So people wouldn't be able to take advantage of me like this!"

"But Bean, I-"

"What do you have to say for yourself young lady?"

"… I guess I'm just a forgetful little device."

"Yes. Yes you are."

At this moment Rouge decided to speak up.

"I really have to thank you for bringing back my ball. But the club is closed as of now, so allow my boys to show you the way out. Oh boys!"

At the snap of her fingers several bears dressed just like the one Bean met earlier, complete with the word 'Secretary" plastered on their shirts, came out onto the dance floor. One came from the front entrance, one from the back, two from the bathroom and three from the bar. They all gathered into a circle and surrounded our dumbfounded duck.

Rouge glided down to her disco ball before continuing on. "Oh boys, can you show the duck the most painful path to the door? Mamma needs some alone time after such a busy night."

The guards gather closer to Bean as Rouge turns her back on them to inspect her ball. Looking at her reflection in it and wiping off smudges with her gloves. All the while the sounds of the fight provide background ambiance to her activity.

"Hey! No! Wait a second! Oh come on guys! Be cool! Ouch! Okay, that was the exact opposite of cool- Hey! Get your hand away from there, sailor! Noooo!"

WHAK! BIFF! BOP! SLAP!

"Hey Rougy!"

Surprised to hear Bean refer to her she turns around only to see him standing atop all of the secretary guards, who were in a large pile, unconscious every one of them.

"I'd like to issue a formal complaint to the owner." Bean says, grinning.

Rouge is taken aback by Bean's success in taking out all her guards, but not deterred.

"Fine" She says, flapping her wings and lifting herself into the air. "I'll just take you out myself."

Bean the Dynamite Vs Rouge the Bat

Ready?

Fight!

Rouge begins with a dive, heading straight for Bean. But Bean had anticipated this first move, he quickly side flips to his left, jumping off the mound of knocked out bears and detonating a bomb he had planted under them beforehand right when Rouge flies over it. The resulting explosion throws the guards off in several directions and the one at the top pops straight up and into Rouge. They both hit the ceiling, the guard pressing Rouge only further into it. The guard falls to the ground but Rouge stays stuck up there for a few seconds, having been pressed so hard into the ceiling that she left a Rouge shaped imprint in it before falling back to the ground. Her face hits the ground but her legs were caught by Bean. Before she can realize what's going on Bean begins to spin her around him, letting go only after gaining a nice amount of speed and letting her crash into the bar, yelling "So long Rouge" as he does so.

The bar is utterly destroyed as Rouge crashes into the bottles and glass shelves. One manages to keep the drinks intact but the shelf still broke from the impact, resulting in all of the drinks sliding off of it and landing right one Rouge's head. She shakes her booze soaked cranium and gains her bearings again after being victim of a series of attacks that would have left most car crashes to shame.

"_Hey Rouge."_

Rouge looks up to see that the bartender was still there behind the counter, sipping a root beer float that he had made himself.

"What are you still doing here?"

"_Well, I thought about going home when the club closed, but then I realized that my place is just a slightly smaller, empty pad with cheaper drinks."_

"… That's coming out of your pay."

"… _Go Bean!"_

Rouge scoffs and jumps back up to fight Bean as the Bartender yells after them _"And can we hurry this up? This has already been over two first chapters of Birth of a Bad Girl long!"_

Rouge flies back towards Bean and opens up with a right hook. Bean dodges this but Rouge keeps her combo up. A punch, a kick, another kick, a karate chop, a kick again. All of these attacks she does in the air, which gives her far greater mobility then Bean has on the ground. A kick, another kick, and another kick. Suddenly Rouge is firing kicks out in rapid secession. Bean does his best to dodge them but gets caught with one aimed to his side. Finally hitting its mark Rouge subjects Bean to several more kicks before a final one is aimed at his head and Bean goes flying across the room himself. He bounces a few times but lands sliding to a halt on his feet. He then takes out two of his bombs and tosses them in Rouge's direction. She zips in the air, weaving in and out; evading each explosion set off by the bombs she reaches Bean and both of her boots leave an imprint on his chest as she drop kicks him into the counter of the bar. The bartender leans over the counter and Bean looks up at him. Bean flips him another ring and says "Something battle ready my good man. Stat!"

"Will do!" he replies and hands him a bottle with a cork in it. Bean begins to hurriedly shake the bottle as Rouge approaches him. "I'm ending this now before you destroy my whole club you little- Ouff!" The cork in the bottle Bean had been shaking had popped off and hit Rouge in the stomach, causing her to wheel back in surprise and pain. This was enough time for Bean to run up and smash the bottle over her head. Bottle now broke, Bean attempts to follow up with another swipe, but Rouge grabs his wrist. Bean tries to use his other hand to pry it off but Rouge grabs his other hand too. They begin to struggle with each other for the broken bottle each trying to overpower the other with no avail. Finally, Rouge decides to change tactics and knees Bean in the gut, following this up by flipping him over her shoulder while grabbing the bottle away from him. She tosses the bottle aside where the rest of it shatters and Bean tries to turn himself right side up again.

"This has gone on for long enough. You really didn't learn your lesson the last time, did you?"

"Rouge, if you knew me, then you'd know that I rarely learn lessons. Aside from that time at the glass house." To which Bean shutters as memories of that day begin to arise again. He then looks up and is shocked to see all seven of Rouge's emeralds circling around her.

"Or maybe you're just a slow learner? But don't worry. I'll be happy to reeducate you."

"_Oh Gee"_ Says the bartender, thumbing through a book titled 'So you've been turned into a Mobian, now what?' _"I wonder where she kept those hidden. We shall probably never be able to deduce such a mystery."_ He said, every word drooling with a nonchalant sarcasm as he turned over the pages in the book.

This comment results in one of the guards who happened to be lying near Rouge being hurled in the bartender's direction "Hey! Wai- Ow!"

Bean the Dynamite vs. Rouge the Vampire

"Alright then, time to finish- Hey! Where did he run off to?"

Bean had dashed away when Rouge's back was turned and was now hiding among the rubble left around everywhere.

"Oh? A game of hide and seek then? You know I'll find you and be able to beat you into the ground long before my emeralds ware off, right? Or were you hoping that I'd just think you ran off completely? I know you're still here. I have something you want. This thing? Remember?"

Rouge reaches into her… ahem, compartment, and pulls out a dazzling yellow chaos emerald.

"Don't you want this ducky? You'll have to come out for it. Come on out."

Bean stayed hidden in the rubble, mulling over his next possible move with Nicole.

"What should I do Nicole? She's gonna find me eventually!"

"Was there anything that happened in the last fight you had with her? A weakness maybe?"

"I can't remember anything at the moment." At this point Rouge's back was to him as she searched the club. "Well, I might as well go out swinging if I'm going out at all."

A bomb connects with Rouge's head and explodes, burning much of her clothing, but Rouge turns and smiles, happy to see the freighted feathered fool standing there.

"So there you are. You really must be stupid. I thought you'd stay hidden."

"I've been doing a lot of things you don't think a normal person with common sense would do! But common sense is stupid! And normal people are… stupid too!"

"We'll see what that wreck less stupidity will get you in a moment."

Rouge then begins to spit large wads of a white sticky mess from her mouth. Bean dodges the first few rounds and begins to run in circles as Rouge flies after him continuing to shoot the mess in his direction. Seeing that it's not working Rouge changes moves and begins to spin in the air like a tornado. She lands on the ground and begins to chase Bean like this. The tornado can move faster than Bean can run and it hits him from behind and knocks him into a wall. Once knocked into the wall Rouge fires another sticky shot off and Bean is stuck in place once again. He struggles for a bit before saying anything. "Oh man, not again. You must really like covering me in your sticky discharge, Rouge."

"… Okay. I'm done with you. Ending this now."

Rouge then starts to spin in the air, faster and faster, until it's as if she's a tornado. Bean has seen this before and knows he's in trouble if he doesn't think of something quick. He could try blowing himself up again like last time, but that move was more of a wild card in how it would work out in the long term. And always ended with him in pain in the short term.

"I gotta think!" Bean thought. "There's gotta be something. Come on. First we were stuck, then my bomb went off, and then-Wait a second!"

Bean's memory suddenly kicks in and Bean figures out how to get out of the goop. He takes a bomb out and holds it in his hands.

"Bean! Wait! I'm much more fragile then a Mobian! If that thing goes off then-"

"Don't worry Nikki, I got a plan this time!"

Bean then holds the fuse close to the goop and in one flash of fire, the entire mess is gone.

"After the bomb exploded we weren't covered in the goop anymore. This stuff must be super flammable."

Bean notices that a few parts of him were on fire too and he quickly patted them out before they engulfed him.

"Bean! Watch out!"

Bean realizes he forgot something and tosses his bomb in Rouge's directions. Rouge goes flying off in one direction and Bean stands, in triumph.

"Ya know, it took me a while, it really did. But I think I finally figured it out.

"No, no no no no no." was all that came from the area Rouge had landed, dust, completely covering it.

"I thought at first that you just stuck people in place so you could do that little tornado move, but it looks like you have no problem with catching up to people with that move."

"NO!"

"Then I thought, 'well, if she can hit people by revving up just a little like that, and a full charge would only make her go faster, why bother sticking people to the floor?' I didn't really understand it. I mean, yeah, it makes them easier to hit, when they aren't running around. But you put so much effort into it."

"YOU PUNK!"

"Then it hit me, you can't risk people interrupting that move? Can you? You can't risk people canceling out your rev like I just did, right? Am I right? Am I? Am I?"

The dust cleared to reveal Rouge on the ground, super powers completely gone.

"Of course I'm right. Cause that's your canceller, isn't it? That one special event that for one reason or another completely diminishes your super form."

"I CAN STILL KICK YOUR BUTT YOU LITTLE PUNK!"

"Huh?" Was all Bean could say before being punched in the face by the bat who had run up to him in rage. He falls to the ground but gets up again. She kicks but Bean sidesteps it this time, countering with a right jab to her midsection. Rouge stumbles a bit in order to catch her breath, but is still able to grab Bean's arm and flips him. Still holding his arm while he's on the floor and on his back, Rouge brings her foot down hard on his chest, stomping on it three times before letting go and kicking him back over the counter of the bar.

"Heh, you're still weaker than me. I don't know how you ever think that a little wimp like you would ever be able to become king. You have to be the strongest."

She then walks over to her disco ball and places a hand on it.

"Why don't you go run along now, before I change my mind and decide to hurt you some more."

"Hee Hee."

Rouge snaps her head around and watches Bean lying over the counter, giggling about something.

"What are you giggling about!"

"Shrapnel Bomb."

"Shrapnel Bomb?"

"Shrapnel Bomb."

Rouge then looks at her disco ball and her eyes widen as she realizes what he's talking about.

"You know what else is funny, Rouge?"

"Wha-What?"

"Detonator."

"Detonator?"

"Detonator."

Bean then holds up a bright red button and throws his fist down on it. The disco ball begins to crack and beams of light are emitted from it. Then it blows up completely, embedding everything around the club, including Rouge, with tiny diamonds. Bean hops over the bar that had been providing him with cover, and walks over to Rouge. Putting on a white rubber glove Bean reaches down and rummages around in Rouge's… ahem, compartments, until he pulls out a shiny yellow emerald.

"Da-na-na-DA-na-NA!" He sings to himself, holding the emerald up.

He then walks out of the bar, and watches as dawn begins to approach a new day.

"Nicole?"

"Yes Bean?"

"I think… I might take a little break for a day… or two… or three." He then falls forward to the floor, face first. A female jaguar that couldn't have been that far out into her twenties walked past and smiled.

"Drinking problem much?"

Bean proceeded to yell after her as she giggled "There wasn't even a **verb** in that sentence! Just an abstract noun."

The End.

_Authors Notes (Optional Read)_

_Longest. Thing. I ever. Put into a Word Document. Ever. _


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